Red Dawn
by Ash Ninja
Summary: "We can only appreciate the miracle of a sunrise if we have waited in the darkness." Standing here in the darkness, watching her in the starlight I know this may only be my change to do something for her. For us. Sequel to So Bad it Hurts. Supermartian.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story.**

* * *

><p><em>"We can only appreciate the miracle of a sunrise if we have waited in the darkness." -Something I wrote on my notebook in English class.<br>_

* * *

><p><strong>Red Dawn<br>**

* * *

><p>I stood in the darkness, surrounded by the sounds of night. There was no moon tonight. A new chapter was about to begin in my life, and it was appropriate to start it with just the stars staring down on me. The stars sort of reflected off the glass windowpane; they shimmered on the Harbor's surface below.<p>

There was a night long ago, it had been the darkest night of my life. Now I'd come full circle, and come into a life I'd always wanted to be apart of and was afraid it would be taken away from me. To never hear her voice. To never feel her touch. To never see the look in her eyes again. When I walked away the first time, I never thought I'd have the courage to face her again. But here I am; knowing she's been waiting for me to come back to her.

Everything felt rightly wrong.

I watched her, she was hesitant to put a hand on the glass of the kitchen window. Discreetly, I read her mind.

The coolness of the glass reminded her of my skin that she loves to touch. Imagining my lips, and I smiled. She thought of my frame's hard angles, I ached thinking of holding her.

I realized she lived her life off the thrills of being with me for the past couple of months. The danger I represented. But that was really only a factor. Now there was a love we both wanted to share.

I thought, once I became a part of her world, there would be nothing to stop me from being by her side night and day.

For now… I silently sighed. Being apart, even a few couple of feet down the hallway, felt like an eternity.

My heart ached to be with her, to give her all she wanted from me. I know I'm running out of time, I had to do _something_ to keep her hopes up. To tell her ever lasting faith in me 'thank you'.

Soon the night would have been over. My fate was sealed, regardless with what happened with M'gann tonight. I wasn't sure how I really felt about that. Something else choosing my destiny. I knew from the beginning that I wanted to be with M'gann; I couldn't imagine it any other way. But I didn't want someone to make that decision for us. I wanted tonight to be special. Something we both could look back on down the road and remember for the feelings we shared and the risk we were willing to take.

Life's meddling was like a never ending nightmare, reoccurring every night with more force than the previous. If cruel happenstance thought it could keep us apart, it had another thing coming. I was destined to be with M'gann. Nothing could stop me. Not now. Not ever.

I watch M'gann bring her hand up to the cool glass. Morning was near.

That was the darkest part of the night. My favorite part. Within an hour, the sun would rise and a thousand sparkles would shimmer against the glass. It's now or never, I think as I stepped into the light and stood behind her.

My body was firm at her back. Close enough to touch her, yet I wasn't.

Her fingers tapped against the glass quietly with unusual impatience. M'gann fingernails had been perfectly filed down short enough not to make any noise. She flattened her palm, seeking out more of the same sensation, and her breath caught as she realized I was there.

"Superboy," she murmured softly, looking at me in the glass. Her body was tuned into my frequency and every muscle tightened in anticipation of my touch. My fingers intertwined with hers, covering her hand easily and I slid them further up on the glass. "Why are you awake, is there something wrong?"

"M'gann," I breathed into her ear. Both of our pulses quickened as our heart rates sped out of control. I press my body closer to M'gann, a fraction of an inch from caressing her. I almost struggled to remember how to breathe. "I... You don't know how much I need to tell you."

My lips grazed the base of her neck, moving slowly towards her shoulder blade. The crisp material of her clothes rustled as she shifted back against me with a sigh. Her head rested on my shoulder and exposed her neck to me.

"Please be quiet," I growled lowly. My voice was hushed as if I was afraid Red Tornado was about to walk in on us at any moment.

I smiled to myself and she arched her back. My hand against hers tightened briefly as I struggled to control myself. Keeping my composure, I curled my fingers into her palm and the pressure of my fingertips tracing circles in her palm had our hearts racing out of control. With each touch, all I could think about, all I could _fantasize_ about was my lips on hers. My arms holding her so close to my heart, her breath warm against my neck as she confessed how much she cares for me.

I used my other hand to distract her, tracing my index finger up her side, over each fragile rib, along the gentle swell of her breast, slowing my pace as I let my hand fall back on her ribs and back up again carelessly. My lips were on her neck, moving slowly as I mumbled words too low for her to hear. I told her how much I also care for her, how much I need her and how beautiful she was to me.

Her hand flattened against the glass slid down before I could catch it and I slid our joined hands up until they were stretched high above her head. My other hand clasping her chest never moved away, fingertips brushed over her heart, pounding hard against the thin fabric of her organic clothing. Every inch of me begged to touch and be touched, caressed, to have her mouth on every inch of my own. All I could do was lean into her even though I slid a hand into hers and curled it, holding my mouth to hers. I couldn't bear the thought of her mouth leaving me. I needed it. Like a lifeline holding me to the moment.

"Open your eyes," I whisper softly, my breath warm against her ear. My touch grew softer, coaxing and she struggled to open her eyes. I watch them flutter open and the pinks, reds, and oranges of the pending dawn were hovering just at the horizon through the dense gathering of the ocean in the Harbor. Faint tinges bounced off the windows, and gave our faces a flushed cast in the glass.

M'gann's brown eyes glowed, the crimsons of her pupils almost swallowing them whole. I move my mouth so it was on her neck, her head rested against my shoulder. My eyes were wild too. Wide. Unblinking. Staring at the ones staring back at me- M'gann's perfection and my flaws. My shoulder lifted her head slightly and the emotion in her eyes stunned me for a moment. Her eyes caressed the faint color in my cheeks and for the first time, it was as if I was seeing myself through M'gann's eyes. The attraction that passed between us.

"Do you see what I see in you, M'gann?" My lips moved up along her jaw bone and up to her hairline. I kissed her eyelid closed and then kissed her cheek, lingering longer than usual. "I don't deserve you, I'm too messed up for you."

I leaned my forehead on hers, our breathing was one.

She cradled my head in her hand and caressed my neck with her fingers. Her hair was soft between my fingers and I looked intently into her eyes. I saw me, Superboy. As if I could read her mind, which I can, I leaned away from her enough to spin her in my arms. I pressed her back against the window and cupped her face in my hands.

"You have no idea, no idea at all," M'gann told me, a weak smile on her face.

I studied her face. Her eyes. Filled with such uncertainty. All I knew she gave to me, she gave willingly. Trust. Love. Commitment. She was mine.

"..." She kissed me softly. "Two halves make a whole, you know?" She kissed me again, moving her lips against mine sweetly, wanting more but holding back. M'gann told me, "Don't worry about that..."

Our eyes met and held. Her eyes filled with fire and her hands found mine. My fingers wrapped around her and brought them to my lips. I held my fingers tenderly to my mouth and flipped them over so I could press my lips to her palms. The small thin, white scar on her forearm held no concern tonight as I breathed over it and let my lips linger. My mouth slid lower over her wrist, breathing in and feeling of her blood pumping alive and comforting just below the surface.

I pressed my lips gently to each wrist, taking my time until I could hardly remember to breathe. My lips swooped down three times and each time I thought I wouldn't be able to stand upright but somehow I did. I lingered over each wrist while I looked up at her with hooded eyes.

"If I told you I don't want to keep chasing Superman and trying to prove myself worthy of succeeding him, to spend more time with you and be the exact person you deserve, what would you say?" I panted breathlessly. She made me drunk out of the pent up feelings I had for her.

"I'd never make you do that," she breathed, pressing her hand firmly into mine and closer to my mouth.

There was a low growl deep in my throat and I dropped my hands back down to her side. My hands came up to either side of her head, blocking M'gann against my hard body and the plate glass window. In the faint light I could see the shadows play over her cherub features- the beauty of her bone structure. The way each soft angle of her body succumbed to my violence. The dangerous way I make vulnerability dance in her light brown eyes. The fine set of her jaw. I chewed the inside of my lower lip as I brazenly admired her.

Perfection was something she achieved very well. Something I'd never come close to having myself. Other than her.

I flattened her against the glass and every muscle in her body contracted. Every rigid inch of me was fully pressed against her, every contour filled with my unyielding muscles, cold and inviting. Air found its way into her lungs and she moaned this time. Shamelessly. Her need for me flared and this kind of attention I was giving to her. I had spent endless nights imagining what this would feel like when the time came and nothing compared to the reality. Nothing compared to her. Not even Heaven on Earth. Not angels singing in the sky or the stars shining down on us. In this moment her thoughts flowed out to me like a dam that been broken.

I was her world. I was the air she breathed. The beat of her heart. I was her all.

And as much as it pained me to admit, she was mine.

"Please don't," she begged, sounding like a sigh when her words left her lips. She leaned forward into me. I wasn't sure what she was asking for and only instinct was keeping me moving forward at this point. I wanted her. I was afraid of the unknown and craving it madly with an intensity that frightened me.

I wanted her touch. I wanted her hands on me. I wanted to move closer to her and bring my mouth down on hers again. I wanted to fill both of our needs.

But I hold myself back, the fear of the Light coming back to claim me at any moment crept from the back of my mind. Even though Aqualad, Kid Flash, Robin, and I had destroyed Cadmus Labs, doesn't mean the _entire_ company can't try to take me back. Yeah sure, the League is searching for the real reason why I was cloned and they reassured me I have nothing to fear but that doesn't mean Cadmus can't try. If they ever do, I would only put M'gann in danger.

And I can't risk that, she is my biggest weakness, worse then Kryptonite. And we both knew that. Which is way I have to keep a cold, unfeeling nature around her and the rest of the team. Completely shut my feelings off. To protect them. To protect her.

But M'gann liked to push me into feeling everything I try to suppress. Love. Happiness. Security. Sometimes I appreciated that she did, her feelings reminded me that I am not alone. That I have something worth fighting for if ever Cadmus does come back. She is both my greatest strength and my weakness.

There is a million different reasons why I need her with me, all of them I want to tell her. But I know there isn't much time left for us.

"M'gann," I said softly, locking my gaze with hers. My hold on her tightened, desperate to hold onto this moment. "Just this once... Just for tonight, I want you to know..." A shuddering breath escaped me as I confessed, "I love you."

M'gann's bottom lip quivered, tears forming in the corners of her eyes as she said, "Superboy..."

No.

With a sudden burst of adrenaline, I duck my head down, and press my lips hastily upon hers, swallowing down her unsaid words. I don't need to hear them. I already know what they are. I _can't_ handle hearing them. Because if I do, I don't think I will be able to leave her.

But I will let us have this moment. This few precious moments that is almost as fragile as she is. With my lips on hers, holding her ever so lightly with the stars sparkling brightly in the rising dawn. The lightening dark of the night concealing us in it's dispersing blanket, giving us what little time to be who we really are. Not Superboy and Miss Martian, not a clone and a Martian; but just, as M'gann had told me, two halves of a whole. Two long lost stars coming together for one night.

She kisses me back tenderly, urgently, our fingers threaded tightly together. She was trying to get out as much of my rare display of emotion from this kiss as she possibly could. I returned the intimacy wholeheartedly, so much the pressure of our lips together was almost bruising. Our warm bodies so close, yet so far away each other. But we can't stop, we don't want to.

I cling to her as tightly as I possibly could without trying to crush her between my body and the windowpane. Feeling alive, feeling free, _finally_ feeling accepted. Like this is my place in this hard-knock world. Like the safest place for me is with her. And how I loved these feelings.

Begrudgingly I break the kiss, unable to breath any longer through my nose. I rest my forehead against hers, panting heavily, the blood in my veins coursing like fire through my skin. My gaze sweeps over her face. M'gann's emerald skin is flushed, her full lips puffy and curved up in a faint smile, and her eyes are full of love and adoration like they always are around me. Regret quickly washes over me, even her gentlest gaze breaks my heart. Smoldering me with her serenity.

My eyes burn into her own, full of anguish and a desire to return all of the feelings she holds for me. Trying to tell her in my own way how I feel for her. I cup her face once more in my hands, my thumbs strokes her soft cheeks. Her skin is icy cold compared to my blazing touch. Slowly I kiss her again, this time more gentle, more controlled. Allowing myself to linger in the blissful sensations that flow between the two of us.

Brushing my lips against hers, I open my eyes to glance through the windowpane. My heart fell to the pit of my stomach. Dawn was rapidly approaching. Time has ran out for us.

Pulling back again, I fixate my gaze on her sweet face. I know my pain and anguish were reflecting in my eyes, leaving me exposed. Showing M'gann the real Superboy. Tortured and vulnerable. But I don't care, I don't want to hide from her right now. I keep my walls down for the last couple of moments we can be together. Tears sting the corners of my eyes. I don't want to do this, I don't want to lie again.

But I have to for both of our sakes.

"M'gann," I said lowly, my tongue feeling felted. "I love you, so much," I brush my lips over her temple. "You are so beautiful... and I don't deserve you. I don't think I will ever deserve you, which is why I can't be with you right now... I've been wanting to tell you that for so long," For the third and final time I pull away from her and stare her straight in the eyes, moving my hand to rest against her neck. "I'm so sorry, but you can't remember this. Or else, you would just make this harder for the both of us than it already is."

She lowers her eyebrows at me, bewildered, and replies, "Superboy, what-" I cut her off.

My thumb and index fingers press against the special pressure point near her pulse point and the back of her neck simultaneously. Putting on the slightest of pressure. I watch as her eyes bulge for a moment, she takes one breath in and then her eyes roll back into her head. Within a few moments she closes her eyes and slumps forward against my chest, unconscious.

Holding her close, I choked out a agonized sob, regret and sorrow heavily drowning my heart. I know when she wakes up later on, that the small moments we have shared tonight will seem like nothing more than a dream. Our confessions, our embraces, our kisses. All like they never existed for the sake of her safety.

I press my lips against her forehead tenderly. Fresh warm, salty tears slip from my eyes and roll down my flushed cheeks. Carefully I pick M'gann's slumbering form up into my arms, feeling as light as a feather, and gaze down at her for a lingering moment.

The last thing I want to cling to, to _remember,_ was the sight of M'gann resting peacefully in my arms while surrounded by dawn's light, sparkling like a million stars in the black sky.

* * *

><p><strong>An: I know pretty weak ending. And Superboy probably sounds pretty ooc. Sorry. -_-". Orginally this was written in M'gann's POV but the way I wrote her she sounded too bi-polar and angsty, so I rewrote this into SB's POV. But hopefully you guys get what SB was trying to do in this fic. As you all know he's not very expressive with words, so he has to result in expressing himself physically.  
><strong>

**IDK, I was reading a old romance novel of my mom's for school while watching the movie Becoming Jane and I came up with this. **

**So let me know what you guys think of it and reviews are greatly asked for.  
><strong>


End file.
